Let me start by saying I do have to get my shit together in certain areas. Ok, now that I got that out.
This is an email I wrote a while back that a lot of people shared and received a lot of feedback that it helped them. I re-read it because I have it at the office to remind me to work on what I said was important (think about how many times we say it and don’t follow through) and decided to add some things I was thinking and feeling with the end of 2013 and the beginning of 2014. I won’t change anything but add so more thoughts.
When I started writing these I just wrote and let things spill out. Below is the exact e-mail I sent out (with an additional 33 points from the original).
I’ve been on fire with work and pretty much just saying yes to every project then hustling to get it done (I wouldn’t do this all the time but when you’re trying to get stuff done and get ahead with light speed this method works). On top of work I’ve also been reading 2-3 books a week as it tends to be my wooosa time for a couple of hours a day. I got inspired to write this as I read a John Carlton book and thought I’d make my own (I also “borrowed” some of his points as I whole heartedly believe in them).
This is gonna be all over the place and they are in no particular order of importance (even though they are numbered), but they are all important and may give you a good reminder or an “a-ha” moment.
I started writing this as a business post for my Pack Fitness Business but it ended up being things that can help anyone in life, which is why I decided to share it here.
I’m definitely not up on a high horse talking about these points, because truthfully some of them I’m telling myself and some of them I’m a work in progress in. They are things that I believe in and matter to me and I know will improve my life.
Be willing to look at your self first in any situation. Do this exercise: point your finger out, then turn your arm around and point to yourself; that’s the person who is responsible – YOU. This goes for anything, your body, your relationships, your finances, your business, health, etc.
To move forward in life faster than you thought possible, take 100% responsibility for anything that happens to you (this is much like #1 but put in a different way just to I can brain wash you on how important that is).
Our body is our temple and you can’t have a healthy mind in a poisoned body. You don’t need to be superhuman, but you should train, eat right, recover right and take care of yourself so that you look, feel and perform better.
Part of happiness in life is connected to consistently growing. If you get better at something daily, that is purposeful to you it will bring you joy and you won’t even think about “how much money I am making?”
Live below your means. Avoid all debt – most things, if you can’t pay in full, don’t buy it (there are exceptions of investments and business ventures you believe in and are willing to hustle your balls of to make it happen). Let your thrill be in accomplishments, not the toys you can suddenly afford on credit.
Put aside a healthy pile of “F@*k You” money, so you can walk away from any situation you don’t like, and know you’ll survive (Best: Put a year’s worth of cash into a safe deposit box. Don’t invest it. Cash; in twenties and hundreds).
Once every couple of weeks or every month, write out a list of 5-10 things you are grateful for. It will make you happy. Doing it daily is tough to do and because we’re a hedonic society we end up getting used to it and don’t feel as much joy from it.
‘No matter how much you’re giving – give more! I spend almost as much time thinking about how I can do something amazing for people in need as I spend on my marketing funnels. The interesting thing is that charity work ended up bringing in more leads than “regular” marketing without that even being a goal. Nothing bad comes out of good. It just doesn’t……
Did I say do more for others? DO MORE FOR OTHERS!
Don’t ignore your sex drive. Letting that mofo clog up can affect your judgement.
I’ve been in martial arts most of my life and I encourage everyone to learn some basic self-defense. The first thing a mugger does to a mark is knock them down – most people can’t handle any jolsting at all, and freeze. The simple confidence of knowing what your options are – and where the “soft targets” are on the attacker – can save your life (or not get you robbed). If you think it won’t happen to you, two days ago my friend and owner of Kettlebility, Andrea, had some robbers steal clients wallets, phone’s, ID’s and she ran one of them down, pinned them and waited for the cops. Ninja on her part but what if she wasn’t in shape and didn’t have some self-defense skills?
Don’t be too busy to enjoy the little things. As I went home to Slovenia I found that the little things were what made me the happiest; sitting at the cafe drinking tea with my brother, Krebs and friends or driving through the mountains to stop by a glacier lake and just sit there and enjoy the beauty, or maybe it was playing basketball with my old friends/team mates. None of those things cost much but they were priceless. We rush through everything trying to get to this “place” as if it will bring us happiness….but really, happiness is right there in every moment being present in what we do whether is paying attention to someone, enjoying something, or putting in all your effort into a purposeful project.
Pursue goals that don’t require money: Love, expertise in something you enjoy, education.
When you stress out, remember it doesn’t really matter as it will all soon be over anyways (life is short) –> I’m talking to myself giving this advice!
Travel and hang out in odd places before spending money on houses or cars. Buy time, and use it. Live before you settle down.
Live with integrity and figure out what your core values are. If you’re not clear on what the right thing is, that just means you’re facing another lesson in life. Figure it out. The lesson begins NOW.
Make your home a place of peace and don’t let it be cluttered. The work office can be cluttered (have you seen Einstein’, Zuckerbergs, etc. desk??) but at home keep it clean because otherwise it will be hard for you to woosa. “If a cluttered desk means a cluttered mind, what does an empty desk mean?”
Say you’re sorry and mean it.
Read a book a week (or more). Learn to read faster as it is a very useful skill.
Fix what you break, clean up your mess, watch your patna’s back!
No matter how many times you’ve heard it, I’ll say it again surround yourself with people that challenge you to be better and push you up. When I say challenge, I mean they may confront you and call you out. These are the people you want around you and not the folks that just pat you on the back and tell you how great you are.
Learn how to cook. Man (and woman) has lost this skill and it should be something everyone knows how to do!
Say “I love you” often and without self-consciousness.
Sometimes success means over-comitting then doing everything you said you will – that’s my own quote and I dig it, feel free to share.
You want it, you take it, you pay the price. There really is no free lunch.
You will treat people better when you talk to them without judgement. This may be one of the hardest things to do in life but strive to be better at it daily. Read Brene Brown’s “The Gifts of Imperfection” and “Daring Greatly”. I’m making it mandatory!
If what you have done for the past 3 years hasn’t worked for you, then change what you’re doing or the next 3 years will be one long boring re-run of the same bullshit.
Do some form of intermittent fasting. It will get you leaner, give you more energy and improve your hormones. It’s not a diet and there is so much flexibility pretty much anyone can apply it in some form or another to their life. And you get to feast a lot!
Stop making excuses! It doesn’t matter how much “the system” or your parents or whoever else messed up your head. You’re old enough to rewrite your story and make a change. Nothing changes until you do!
DONE is best. Doing doesn’t really do much, as it’s not done. Follow through, finish something today.
Multi-tasking is necessary sometimes but in all honesty you’ll always do better doing one thing and doing it well. Focus on one thing at a time! I know this because I’m writing this to Luka’s brain right now.
Challenge your belief systems. It’s better to realize you’ve been wrong all along than to be stubborn and hold on to a delusion that is holding you back from becoming your best.
Keep a note in your pocket. On one side write out all your goals (short and long term) and on the other side write out 10 things that make you happy (things that you do by yourself that make you happy). Whenever you get anxiety, pull out that piece of paper and either do something that takes you towards your goals or something that makes you happy. Doing this can really change your life! You just have to do it.. “Action alleviates anxiety….but only 100% of the time”
Accept defeat with grace, and plan for victory next time out. Know how to cheat. Don’t do it, but understanding the game thoroughly requires knowing how others take advantage.
Please yourself first. But be a good friend at all times, even if it means sacrifice. Make giving up something to help someone else a good thing in your life…so it is your choice to do so, because it pleases you.
LOVE your family and make sure you spend quality time with them. You never know how long you have with them so make memories that last forever. So simple and common sense…but do you did it?
If it’s critical, do it yourself. If it’s not, delegate. Learn the difference.
Stop arguing. Has it EVER got you ahead and convinced the other person you are right? Then go and read Dale Carnegie’s “How To Win Friends And Influence
People.” If you’ve already read it, then re-read it.
You’re going to do crazy and dumb stuff occasionally (for some ummm, more than occasionally)/ Embrace it and know that you’ll have a good story to tell. Learn from it, forgive yourself, and just make sure it doesn’t become a common thing in your life.
Lead by example. Walk the talk. This means if you haven’t walked it, you need to shut up more.
Be where you said you’d be, when you said you’d be there, ready to do what you said you’d do.
Dress for the position you want to be in, not the one you’re currently in. Same goes for how you act and what you do!
Big changes are made by starting one good habit at a time and stopping one bad one. Drink one beer instead of 5 then call a gym and schedule an appointment with a trainer. You can do it inch by inch, that is how you move forward.
Reputation is built one act at a time. Respect is earned by consistent behavior. Protect that reputation!
Have you ever accomplished anything without struggle? Struggle is not a bad word. It is only bad if you keep yourself in the struggle because its a habit and it is what you’re used to. Then change it!. If you’re struggling, you may as well do it to accomplish something great.
For everything that you do that is significant, find the deep “why” you’re doing it. Whenever times get tough (and they will!), knowing and tapping into your deep why will carry you through. If the why is money, something material or surface like, it tends to not be enough to get through the toughest times.
Intellectually sound people change their minds when the facts change. Ideology sucks as a lifestyle!
Be a go-giver. Give because it helps someone, because it feels good, because it will inspire others to do the same. Don’t give and expect anything in return, that’s not true charity.
Cut down on how much TV you watch and instead read and write. I haven’t had cable or a TV for that matter, for 18 months. I doubled the amount of books I read.
Believe in someone. Some people can’t believe in themselves until someone believes in them first.
Don’t become “small” so someone can feel better. They aren’t going to change anyway. Become “big” and inspire people to be more!
Change the words you use. Words that threaten success: Might, maybe, can’t, won’t, if, …… catch yourself saying them and replace them with words that will make success possible.
Whatever it is you do and want to succeed in. Be so good they can’t ignore you.
Fitness doesn’t cost you time, it buys you time!
Don’t think you can do something, believe it.
Your life will not be measured by what you got from the world, but rather by what you gave to it. Think about this the next time you take on a project.
Listen more than you talk. When you do talk, observe the rules of conversation. If these rules are a mystery to you, go hunt them down.
Don’t interrupt people or finish their sentences.
Do the extra. Even when no one does it for you. Difference between the ordinary and the extraordinary is the
Don’t talk about other people, go out be great and have them talk about you.
Out of all the people around you, you talk to yourself more than anyone. Make sure you are saying the right things.
Learn to become a great storyteller. You will always get your message across better.
Spend less time on Facebook and other social media and spend it with real people creating great memories and enjoying life, being present.
Knowledge – Action = Nothing
Knowledge + Action = Wisdom
When you take action and you fail, you still gain wisdom that will help you the next time.
You die twice in your life. Once when you take your last breath, and again the last time someone says your name.
Why fight resistance when it is the main source of your growth? Resistance checks you to see if you are ready for the next level. No resistance, no growth!
Pursuing perfection DOES matter (in a world full of mediocrity). It’s a core value I call “chasing the unicorn.” Might never catch it but the process, the journey, are what make life enjoyable and help you become your best.
If you want to grow your company and have it become bigger than yourself, you have to bust your butt get top players on your team (I mean this from a place of them fitting your core values and seeing your vision) then you have to bust your butt even more to develop them and help them play their A-game every day. This is the hardest thing in
business if you ask me.
My “ultimate dream” keeps changing. Whenever I set it, it scares me, but whenever we push to the edge of our limits, we start realizing our limits expand. You SHOULD be frightened by your goals, means they will be a worthwhile challenge that changes you (for the better)!
Real leaders have the guts to have the tough conversations. Passive aggressive doesn’t exist in the true leadership world.
Reviewing your vision (I like this better than “goals”) in the morning and reading or listening to something positive and inspiring is extremely powerful in creating focus and drive daily. I get up sluggish and uninspired some morning and I have books by my bed that I pick up and read for 15 minutes and then I listen/watch to a couple of videos on YouTube that get me fired up while I take my supplements. This has the power of changing my day in the first 20 minutes
I’m setting this up as my alarm clock. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4yf2tOYKTgk
Learn to love yourself. It’s the most important rule for being loving with other people.
Getting in great shape elevates every other area of your life. If you want to improve as a person then getting in great shape will help you. You’ll only realize how much when you take the journey and get there (the process is the “key” in the lessons).
What’s the one thing calling you to action right now? All of us have that one thing that drives us, the motivation to get you out of bed in the morning. Maybe it’s a number of different things, but chances are that even then they’re tied to one driving force that call you to become better every day. So what is it? What is your “IT”? It’s purpose. It dictates your game plan. You DO have it even if you don’t think you do. Dig deep and find it because you NEED it every time things become challenging. It’s your fuel to persevere to, to keep pushing, to never give up!
If you have (or are starting) a business then get into a mastermind. It’s amazing what happens when you surround yourself with people a room full of people smarter than you doing amazing things. I’ve never joined a mastermind and not taken my business (and life) up another level.
Self-belief is the catalyst for success. If you don’t believe you can achieve a vision then you will never take the relentless action it takes to achieve it. If you don’t believe in yourself then surround yourself with someone that does. That can make you start believing in yourself!
Our biggest enemy is our self-doubt. We can achieve extraordinary things in our lives but we sabotage our greatness because of fear. Do things in spite of fear. Once you “slay the dragon” it becomes easier. I’m not saying the dragon won’t always be there…but it’s easier to fight him because you know you’ve beaten him before. As we pursue greater challenges the dragon becomes bigger but we also get stronger.
Getting away from all technology and gadgets for a couple of days is crucial. At the beginning you may have withdrawals but when you let go of it you’ll see how much clearer your thoughts are and how much more you get to enjoy your surroundings.
To be successful you have to learn to be happy first. Most people think the route to happiness is the road to success. What is success really if there is no happiness?
Don’t try to do it all yourself. I’ve tried that and it you’ll either fail or be miserable. Set your vision and hand of anything you’re not so great at to people that are great at it. Focus on what you’re best at and love doing the most.
A great way to be happy with what you’re doing is to stay in the “G-spot.” Before you start going too kinky, let me explain. The G-spot is where what you’re best at, most passionate about, and gives you the best ROI meet in the middle. You should be spending as much time there as possible which will not only bring you success faster but also keep you happier!
Always remember there is food on your table thanks to the clients you are privileged to serve.
Smile at people and with people. It does make a difference to the people around you.
Spend time in nature to renew and refuel. When I was in Africa, the owner of Africat in Namibia, Donna said something that resonated with me, and that is that when people go through really tough times and life beats them down and they’re hurt, they come to nature to heal. I agree; I was out there for that.
Gratitude is an antidote to misery.
Change is hard at first, messy in the middle and beautiful at the end.
Pursuing mastery will create joy and make you an expert. Small little details done excellently and consistently over time is what the world sees as Mastery. Make it a habit.
Be a Samurai! Samurai are servants, so serve more. Because the more you serve the more joyful you will become. In my darkest times (and there have been many in the past two years), the light that kept me going after it was serving others.
After trying to convince myself this is not the case, I’ve finally pulled my head out of my ass and realized that the key to getting great things done is to stop doing so many good things.
Be that rare person who just doesn’t know how to quit. Pain is temporary, it may last for a minute or an hour, a day, or even a year; but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. When you quit it lasts forever.
Champions are the ones that find a way out of no way. They find energy where it doesn’t exist. They keep going when there is nothing left. That is the difference between a champion and someone ordinary.
93Drink more water. When you’re dehydrated you’ll perform like crap and feel like crap. I’ve had an issue with this and have started changing it.
If you are trying to change the world you can’t also be “fitting in.” Pick one or the other. Fitting in means trying to not offend anyone. When your vision is to change the world then you have to put yourself out there, your true self, and you will have people that love you and some that hate you. Don’t become smaller so that someone who doesn’t care about you can feel better about them-selves. Be the greatest version of yourself, embrace your struggles and challenges and don’t fit in with anything other than who you are!
To build a habit start with a simple daily practice. Try one of these things every single day: sleep 8 hours, no TV, no junk food, no complaining for one whole day, no gossip, return an email from 5 years ago, express thanks to a friend, write down your schedule and cross out an item – don’t do that anymore, surprise someone, think of ten people you are grateful for, tell someone every day that you love them, don’t have sex with someone you don’t love, … The more simple daily practices you do the more you engrain habits. Pick the ones that are most important to you right now and start. Don’t pick to many, one or two is best….then do then for 2-3 weeks straight.
Share your successes. Because success unshared is failure.
f you are speaking or telling a story, becoming boring is a fate equal to death. Remember that boredom occurs when you fail to make the other person interesting.
The two most dangerous words in the English language are “I know.”
We become happier not by accumulating more things but by creating richer experiences.
Yes, I may have even repeated myself on some of those and that just means it keeps popping up in my mind because it’s something I need to do myself or I feel so strongly about it that I’d recommend it twice. I hope this not only helps you with things that you want to change but also have you sit down and write your thoughts and what you believe in. It creates clarity and it something that will keep you accountable to what YOU said is important to you. Print it out and put it on the fridge and in the office. When you have 5-10 minutes re-read it. You’ll be surprised how much your actions and behaviors will change when you create these habits and the values are constantly on top of mind awareness.
We can all get our shit together more, that’s what growth is all about. Start somewhere and do something.